💑 Shared finance

Married: one economy

When you're married, your finances are one. Put both of your salaries into the same pile, and pay all the bills from it. It's about what you can afford together, and what you want to buy together. It's not that one of you can afford things and the other can't. But I recommend keeping a small pot that is all your own, so you can buy the small things you want without having to ask your partner. I call it 'fun-money'. Go for shared finances, but set aside an equal amount for each of you on top.

Moving in with someone who owns

Here is the trap many fall into. The owner is paying down a mortgage, and that money is invested and usually growing. You, moving in, pay all the running costs like food and power, and your money disappears. After a few years the owner has built up real wealth, and you have nothing to show for it. That isn't fair.

A potential solution: the one who owns the home pays for the home. Interest, instalments and maintenance. The rest of the expenses you split evenly, exactly like cohabitants who rent. If you want to go further, you can also own the home together, so you share the increase in value. Perhaps the most important thing you can do is write a cohabitation agreement (in Norway, a samboerkontrakt). Who owns what, who pays what, and what happens if you split up. It takes an hour to make, and can save you years of arguing. A good saying is that a cohabitation agreement should be written in peacetime.

Renting together: split evenly

If you rent together, try to split all the bills evenly: rent, power, food, subscriptions. Talk about it before you move in, not when the account is empty.

If your salaries are very different, a 50/50 split can get a bit skewed. The one who earns the least is left broke while the other has room to save. One solution can be to split by percent: run your own numbers in the calculator below, and let each of you keep a pot of your own for free spending. That way you share fairly — and nobody has to ask permission before each purchase.

Remember that how you organize your shared finances is always something the two of you have to agree on yourselves. This page offers tips and possible solutions, not the definitive answer. Do what works for you! An important point, as mentioned, is to agree on everything financial in peacetime. Preferably through a contract, and ideally reviewed by a lawyer if you want to do everything by the book.